We should fight for our relationships, but if fighting means ripping yourself to shreds and piggybacking all his demons, you need to leave.– Tara Love
This quote speaks to the intricate balance between fighting for a relationship and recognizing when it’s time to let go. Relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships, can be sources of immense joy, growth, and support. However, they can also turn into sources of pain, toxicity, and emotional turmoil. The quote highlights the importance of self-preservation and the limits to which one should go in fighting for a relationship.
Fighting for a relationship doesn’t mean physical confrontation or engaging in heated arguments. It means putting in effort, communication, compromise, and dedication to make the relationship work. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and working through challenges is a natural part of any healthy connection. Just like plants need water and care to grow, relationships need attention and effort to flourish.
Yet, the quote acknowledges a crucial boundary: there’s a point where fighting for the relationship can become harmful to oneself. It’s a vivid depiction of the idea that we shouldn’t lose our own identity, self-esteem, and mental well-being in the process of trying to salvage or fix a relationship. Piggybacking all of someone’s demons implies taking on their emotional baggage, which can be incredibly damaging. It’s like trying to carry a burden that isn’t yours to bear, and in the process, sacrificing your own emotional health.
Relationships should ideally be sources of support and mutual growth. When a relationship becomes a source of constant pain, anxiety, or emotional turmoil, it’s essential to take a step back and evaluate whether the cost of fighting is too high. Sometimes, ending a relationship is a sign of strength rather than weakness. It’s a recognition that one’s mental and emotional well-being matters.
Leaving a relationship that’s toxic or damaging doesn’t mean giving up. It means recognizing your own worth and understanding that you deserve happiness, respect, and love. It’s an act of self-preservation and self-care. Just as we wouldn’t knowingly stay in a burning building, we shouldn’t knowingly stay in a relationship that’s tearing us apart emotionally.
The quote encourages introspection and self-awareness. It prompts us to ask ourselves tough questions: Is the relationship adding more value to my life than it’s taking away? Am I compromising my own well-being for the sake of this relationship? Am I being treated with respect and kindness?
Ultimately, the quote offers a nuanced perspective on relationships. It acknowledges the complexities of human connections and the importance of knowing when to hold on and when to let go. It’s a reminder that while relationships are significant and can bring immense joy, our own mental and emotional health should always be a priority.
In the end, we should fight for relationships that are built on mutual respect, love, and growth. However, if fighting means sacrificing our own well-being, it’s a clear sign that it’s time to let go. The quote encourages us to value ourselves enough to recognize when it’s time to walk away from something that’s no longer serving our best interests.
Odusanya Adedeji A., is a Licensed & Certified Clinical Psychologist whose domain of expertise cuts across management of specific mental health issues such as, Depression, PTSD, Anxiety & Anxiety related disorders, substance use disorder, etc